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Live Sessions Vol. IV

by Shelby Potts

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1.
There's something dark inside of me. There is a ghost in this machine. There's a giant jagged hole That twists and rips through my soul, like the roots of some old wretched tree. There's something dark inside of me. There's something haunting, oh my love. There's nothing good I'm thinking of. Still I'm gilded and groomed, gliding into the room, saying such bold and beautiful things. There's something dark inside of me.
2.
Don't you worry it's fine. Your hands not letting go mine. If worst comes to us, i'll hold tight even if it hurts, and now the ground is shaking. It's trying to tear us down, but we won't be forsaken, 'cause we know what we found. Our love saves us. The river runs deep, but our spirit grows tall. Our love saves us, We jump from stone to stone but you know we won´t fall. Do you remember that promise? Remember when it was new? How deep into you I fell. I believed in us then and I still do, but now the ground is shaking, and we know what we found. Our love saves us. The river runs deep but our spirit grows tall. Our love saves us. We jump from stone to stone but you know we won´t fall. Save us, save us now. Save us, save us now. With shivering hearts we wait. We watch the sky, we hesitate. With shivering hearts we wait. I´m still holding on. Our love saves us. The river runs deep, but our spirit grows tall. Our love saves us. We jump from stone to stone, but we know we won't fall. Our loves saves us now.
3.
If this was the cold war we could keep each other warm, I said on the first occasion that I met Marie. We were crawling through the hatch that was the missile silo door, and I don't think that she really thought that much of me. I never had to learn to love her like I learned to love the bomb. She just came along and started to ignore me, but as we waited for the big one. I started singing her my songs, and I think she started feeling something for me. We passed the time with crosswords that she thought to bring inside. "What five letters spell apocalypse?" she asked me. I won her over saying WWIII. Oh, we smiled and we both knew that she misjudged me. Oh Marie, it was so easy to fall in love with you. It felt almost like a home of sorts or something, and you would keep the warhead missile silo good as new, and I watched you with my thumb above the button. Then one night you found me in my army issue cot, and you told me of your flash of inspiration. You said, "Fusion was the broken heart that's lonely's only thought" and all night long you drove me wild with your equations. Oh Marie, do you remember all the time we used to take, making love and then ransack the rations? I think about you leaving now in the avalanche cascades, and my eyes get washed away in chain reactions. Oh Marie, if you would stay and we could stick pins in the map, of all the places where you thought that love would be found, and I would only need one pin to show where my love's at. In a top secret location three hundred feet under the ground. Oh, we could hold each other close, stay up every night. Looking up into the dark like it's the night sky. Pretend this giant missile is a old oak tree instead. Carve our name in hearts into the warhead. Oh Marie, there's something tells me things just won't work out above. That our love would live a half life on the surface. So at night while you are sleeping, I hold you closer just because. As our time grows short I get a little nervous. So I think about the big one, WWIII. Would we ever really care, the world had ended? You could hold me here forever like you're holding me tonight. I think about that big red button and I'm tempted.
4.
As the moon rose and the hour grew late, the day help on a coconut estate, raked up the dry leaves that fell dead from the trees, which they burned in a pile by the lake. The beetle king summoned his men, and from the top of the Rhododendron stem: Calling all volunteers who can carry back here, the great mystery's been lit once again. One beetle emerged from the crowd in a fashionable abdomen shroud, said: I'm a professor, you see, that's no mystery to me... I'll be back soon, successful and proud, but when the beetle professor returned he crawled on all six, as his wings had been burned, and described to the finest detail all he'd learned. There was neither a light nor a heat in his words. The deeply dissatisfied king climbed the same stem to announce the same thing, but in his second appeal sought to sweeten the deal with a silver padparadscha ring. The lieutenant stepped out from the line as he lassoed his thorax with twine, thinking: I'm stronger and braver and I'll earn the king's favor. One day all he has will be mine! But for all the lieutenant's conceit he, too, returned singed and admitting defeat: I had no choice, please believe, but retreat... It was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat! And it cracked like the thunder and bloodshot my eyes, though smothered with sticks it advanced undeterred. Carelessly cast an ash cloud to the sky, my Lord, like a flock of dark, vanishing birds. The beetle king slammed down his fist: Your flowery description's no better than his! We sent for the great light and you bring us this? We didn't ask what it seems like, we asked what it is! His majesty's hour at last has drawn nigh! The elegant queen took her leave from his side, without understanding but without asking why, gathered their kids to come bid their goodbyes, and the father explained: You've been somewhat deceived... We've all called me your dad, but your true dad's not me. I laid next to your mom and your forms were conceived. Your father is the life within all that you see. He fills up the ponds as he empties the clouds, holds without hands and he speaks without sounds, provides us with the cow's waste and coconuts to eat, giving one that nice salt-taste and the other a sweet. Sends the black carriage the day death shows its face, thinning our numbers with kindness and grace, and just as a flower and its fragrance are one so must each of you and your father become. Now distribute my scepter, my crown and my throne and all we've known as 'wealth' to the poor and alone... Without further hesitation, without looking back home, the king flew headlong into the blazing unknown... And as the smoke king curled higher and higher, the troops, flying loops 'round the telephone wires, they said: Our Beloved's not dead, but His Highness instead has been utterly changed into fire. Why not be utterly changed into fire?
5.
Do you know the words that make the hidden door open? Can you speak my secret name and fix me? I have no heart. I have no brain. Lord, I have no courage. Can you get me home again? Could never be heaven without you. Could never be heaven without you. Never be heaven without you. I was drowning in the lake, damned, over a dead mining town. The cars and the homes lay still in the water. The deeper I sank, the less I died. The trees swayed, slow in the tide. There were people I love below me singing. And all of the songs were about you. And all of the songs were about you. You are not alone. We are not separate. My daughter's shoulders are my shoulders. My son's hands my hands. My wife's heart my own heart. I've heard the outer darkness is really nice this time of year.

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released December 25, 2017

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Shelby Potts Cape Girardeau, Missouri

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